UrZone- Test UrSelf

Read these statements and think about a relationship which you know of or might even be involved in.

For each of these statements, tick Often, Sometimes or Never depending how often these things happen in that relationship.

1. Does one of the partners:

Stop the other seeing friends?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Start an argument when the other wants to go out?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Open the other person’s mail?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Want to know exactly where the other one has been and with whom?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Make excuses to turn up when the other partner is on a night out with friends?

Often

Sometimes

Never

2. Does one of the partners:

Get angry/upset and accuse the partner of flirting if they talk to other men/women?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Tell their partner that being jealous shows how much they love the other person?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Blame their partner for making them jealous?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Control how their partner looks (clothes, make-up, hairstyle)?

Often

Sometimes

Never

3. Does one of the partners:

Comment on how the other partner looks all the time?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Tell the other partner what they have done “wrong” all the time?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Constantly criticise the other?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Ignore the other and not communicate with them for long periods at a time?

Often

Sometimes

Never

4. Does one of the partners:

Get angry and aggressive with the other partner about little things?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Make the other feel scared or intimidated when they use alcohol or drugs?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Have a particular “look” to tell their partner to shut up?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Threaten to harm something that is special to the other partner?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Demand that meals are on the table at a certain time?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Make all the decisions within that relationship?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Say that it’s a man’s right to be in control in a relationship?

Often

Sometimes

Never

That a woman should always obey her partner and never contradict them?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Make the other partner account for every penny spent?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Make the other partner show receipts for money spent?

Often

Sometimes

Never

5. Does one of the partners:

Hurt the other, and then apologise and promise it will never happen again?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Give flowers or gifts after they have been mean to their partner?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Beg the other partner not to tell friends/family about the abusive behaviour?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Try to justify their temper and behaviour by blaming it on something else, eg. Having a “bad day”

Often

Sometimes

Never

Say it’s not their fault that they behave this way, it’s because they had bad things happen to them in their childhood?

Often

Sometimes

Never

6. If you are in an unhappy relationship, do you:

Feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Feel worried all the time in case you might have done something to annoy your partner?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Feel unhappy most of the time?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Feel like you are going mad because you don’t know what to expect next?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Feel afraid for your own life?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Feel afraid to say what you think?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Feel like you have no control over your own life and decisions?

Often

Sometimes

Never

Do your friends and family say you should get out of your relationship?

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